One week to go until my fracture clinic appointment… ticking the days off as we go…!!!
Mental Aspect… Positivity this week. A sports cliché I know and for me I challenge exactly what people mean when using the word ‘positivity’ because it is not always abundantly clear what aspects satisfy their needs. Different aspects mean different things for people. During this 5th week my ‘positivity’ is influenced by the ticking off of a few little tasks, that in the grand scheme seem quite miniscule, but put into my context allow me to look forward with energy and clarity.
Recovery…
My first shower… Until this point strip washing was the morning routine. A necessary version of washing because of flexibility, the surgery wound, nerve reaction and risk mitigation from mishaps. I have progressed massively, over week 4 onwards, on the flexibility and nerve aspects thanks to subtle stretching, movement techniques, Theragun sessions and of course extensive Compex programmes. Thanks, also to my Orthopaedic Surgeon neighbour Mabs, for tidying up my exposed ‘internal’ stitches, my scar is settling down quite nicely. All those factors meant that I could shuffle under the shower above the bath. I could move in a controlled fashion, avoiding balance and potential slippery risks. It felt so good…!!!! A smile and little positive step forward.
Full night sleep… unaided by drugs and with the lack of intrusive nerve activity. I would be lying if I said that the nerve activity was not draining both physically and mentally but the progression with Compex has meant that the pain levels are now at the 3 to 4 levels on the 1-10 scale that the hospitals use. Previously my sleep was being impacted by sporadic 7 to 8 threshold bursts that created that jolt to being woken up. Add to this that the only able position to sleep is an ‘Adams Family’ on your back, which for someone who sleeps on his side is mightily uncomfortable. However, I have managed a couple of times this week to sleep through and that means so much. Quality of sleep is priceless and for my mental strength a huge step. For this phase of my recovery I was prescribed ‘Amitriptyline’ that would supress the nerve pain, the consequence is that this drug is used for depression so it just makes you super neutral, flat and numb, I did not want to go back to that morphine type haze. Not trying to be superman by not taking pain relief but I would rather live with some pain than affect my mental health with drugs that flatten you straight out. Waking up from those uninterrupted nights I have a smile and another little positive step forward.
The weather… Sunshine makes for a more positive outlook when stuck in a house on non-weight bearing restrictions. I can have doors, windows wide open with the heat of the sun and fresh air. I can venture onto a chair in the garden and still listen to the TdF. This is the lucky aspect to my positivity feeling and it is great. I must be due some luck…! I smile and think what a beautiful day.
People… I continue to be positively influenced by my friends and by my star, my daughter Lola. Friends making time for me with calls, visits and invites means a great deal during this time. Taken for granted during healthier times but now put into perspective during these lean times. Also, my daughter… my 20-year-old daughter has been my rock, my dependence and my drive. My drive is the important aspect mentally… not to be more of a burden to her than is absolutely necessary. I mentioned in a previous blog that I have been let down by others and as a result Lola was isolated. My friends have rallied around but the close support during the day / night with actual living can only be covered by those that live with you or by those in a relationship with you. I could have fun and invite Mark or Brad around to wash my back, could be worse, but Lola has totally stepped up. For that I needed to avoid the negative pitfalls of feeling sorry for myself and thus disrespecting the challenges that Lola has faced. I think of her and the job she has done supporting me and I smile and think what a positive to have such a wonderful daughter.
Great also talking to my new mate Ben Wright… there is a whole new world out there that I have flirted with getting involved into. Bike fitting, influencing either through coaching or motivational speaking are all ideas being bounced around. This is what I mean about my positivity, creativeness, and potential.
COVID-19… The impact from a financial and work aspect means we, Lola and I, are borderline failure in our current existence. What that means to date has been fire sale activity, previous financially supporting others massively impacting now than then. This whole situation could quite easily drag me down super quick BUT put this in context. I would hardly say that this is a unique situation to me only… post furlough this is going to be a common feeling felt by many throughout the world. My current existence is under threat but that does not mean I am out of the life equation. I just must accept, be flexible and change my mindset… having time on your hands, certainly in this frustrating situation, sucks but I have to take a step back and challenge. Is this the point in my life where my financial dependency of working in The City is cut…? This all feels like my unique transition period so I will embrace what comes, for me now I will work off infectious positivity and manage the hurdles as they come. How long will this mindset last…? I will have dips, but my successful little milestone tasks have helped.
Rehabilitation…
Compex SP8… A constant theme throughout my recent blogs is the use of this Compex product. Electronic Muscle Stimulation can be used for multiple purposes and for that reason I needed to be exposed to the capabilities a little bit more, to understand what will work for me during this phase. Week 4 saw me taking council with Ben Wright and from that get together agreeing a set of programmes to use for nerve activity and for atrophy.
For nerve pain and its subsequent sporadic and sometimes very restrictive jolts we agree a total time of 1 hour and 5 mins leveraging two programmes… 1) Pain Management TENS… 2) Capillarisation
Most people will have heard of TENS when used through pregnancy / delivery for pain relief. Capillarisation programme stimulates the capillaries in the body to increase blood flow which will greatly increase healing.
For my purpose I use the TENS programme 20mins first, followed by a 25mins Capillarisation interval then finishing with a repeated TENS 20mins interval. I follow this sequence 3 times during the day on specifically 2 sites on my body. One session on the hip / top of the thigh area. Two sessions on the outer of the thigh top to mid of the leg, fundamentally where all the nerve activity is being localised… and it works…?!!! It is no coincidence that my rehab is significant day to day through week 4 and week 5. I stick to this religiously each day, it is easy to do that whilst watching the Tour de France because of the time it takes.
Atrophy is the other aspect… This programme is 28mins long and is totally uncomfortable and entertaining watching the legs spasm. The purpose is to challenge the muscle to simulate heavy weight bearing activity. At this stage I cannot do weight bearing exercises, I cannot walk, and my left leg will and has lost a lot of intensity and size. A natural reaction to not being used and my challenge is to stimulate muscle activity to replicate use and to avoid all those consequences. This means that the quad muscles do have a real jolt with this mini workout, but this is amazingly effective and will allow an ease going through the next phase once I can start being more active.
Entertainment…
Essex Council (Epping) Blue Badge process… One life restriction in the short term is that I am not going to be flying around, walking, running anywhere fast. Add the restrictions with my arm and the recent diagnosing of a fully torn left ACL and medial knee joint arthritis then the ability to park near where I intend to be is quite important. Historically Essex CC process has said that I am not disabled enough to warrant a ‘Blue Badge’ so I thought I would give this another go based on this is going to be months as opposed to days / weeks. They make me visit in person an assessment appointment in Harlow Library, even though I explained am non-weight bearing. Lola must take the afternoon off work, who I have to say have been brilliant in allowing her to cover me for these types of things.
Anyway, I had to do a few exercises and go through an extensive list of questions… some of these are totally laughable bearing my crash, surgery, and current situation. Halfway through the questions he asked my symptoms. I said to him “you are joking right…?” I have my doctor’s notes that he read, in obvious physical difficulty, crutches, scar and he looks at me and says “symptoms…?”. I was flippant and annoyed, and my response was “what do you think…?” Showed my scar and crutches and just laughed.
NHS… Another funny point to note. Back in April I had my left knee scanned. I have had 4 operations on it over the years and knew that arthritis is a given as a consequence of a knee dislocation back when I was 19. I have some little discomfort now and again and I would not be sprinting anywhere with the knee likely to give way. However, the increasing frequency of the knee collapsing meant a check was needed. The results identified a fully torn left ACL and severe medial arthritis in the joint with the collapse of the knee. Prognosis, knee replacement towards the mid-later 50’s, if I can continue with the leg strength that cycling leaves me with then I push that inevitability out further. The initial thoughts were a small left knee operation to clean the joint out of debris. Sods law after being cancelled in May I have now received an alternative appointment 25th Sept to take this forward. My body would not take much more now so for the time being that appointment is put back to Nov 2020.
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